In the News

Death in the news can be funny or totally unfunny.

The funny:

Bear kills two militants in Valley hideout“Mili-bear deployed, Sir!” In the Kashmir Valley, a Himalayan Black Bear killed two muslim militants who stupidly hid in his cave.  The bear may have injured others.  Good bear!

The funniest information in the whole story?

“The two bodies were recovered from a cave hideout along with two AK-47 rifles, six magazines and 130 rounds of ammunition,” Brar said. “The injury marks on the bodies suggested that a bear attacked and killed them. We handed over the bodies to the police.” Postmortems on the bodies have since been performed.

Even fully armed these idiots were no match for a bear.  Good bear!

And now for the decidedly NOT funny.

CLEVELAND, Ohio — The stench in the air near East 123rd Street and Imperial Avenue left residents baffled for years.

Drain pipes were flushed. A sewer line was replaced. But the smell still lingered.

Some residents believed the overpowering odor came from a 57-year-old sausage shop on the corner. Others were still convinced it was the sewers.

Last week, police discovered the source of the odor — it was beyond residents’ worst fears. At least six decomposing bodies lie in and around the house at 12205 Imperial Ave. The corpses could have been accumulating there for years, authorities said.

WTF???!!1!!!!!!!  How many times do we need to do this drill?  John Wayne GacyJeffrey Dahmer.  Ringing a bell anyone?  Nefariousness discovered in search of stench that won’t go away? Is this starting to sound familiar?  AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Look, allow me to point something out: If in the course of daily life you come across a stench that a) won’t go away and b) has no obvious source – contact the police and remind them of the above mentioned evil killer body dumping maggots and encourage them to start searching frickin houses and buildings until they find the source!!!!!!!  Really, WTF???  How is it that this same scenario repeats itself?

The worst that can happen is you find a dead dog in a blind spot and the stench is gone.  The best is that you find some vile foul son of a bitch and end his killing spree at one.

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