10 Simple Rules for Politicians

Or How to gain the respect and trust of the THINKING voting public.

  1. Don’t lie to us.  We don’t care for your reasons.  Don’t lie.  Tell the truth.
  2. Treat the federal budget like your own personal budget, don’t spend what you don’t have. It comes out of our budgets so we expect you to treat us with respect.  We also expect you not to waste our money.
  3. Insist on reading and understanding legislation before you pass it. If I presented an expensive proposal to my boss and insisted that it just had to happen now my boss would question me thoroughly.  I would need to be able to answer, in detail, all manner of questions about the feasibility and need for the program and all it’s pieces.  I would have to prove through research that this project was not only necessary but that it would end up profiting my company.  If I told him I couldn’t answer his questions, but my aides who put this package together assured me that everything was correct I would get fired.  If you, the politician, can not also understand AND explain in detail a bill that will control 15% of our GDP, expect to get fired.
  4. Don’t allow yourself to get high on the power. We do not respect you when you say anything remotely like “Do you know who I am?”  Yeah, actually, we do.  You are a servant of the people, by the will of the people, nothing more.  We choose to give you power because we expect you to serve US not yourself.  In other words, when you say “Do you know who I am?” while trying to get away with something you are exactly like some douchebag who pretends to be a power player in a rented Bently, wearing knockoff Armani and Rolex.  Your power is only rented for the duration of your term.  You rent it from US, the people of these United States, we are the OWNERS of that power.  Quit treating it like it’s your own.  Poseur.
  5. Keep your wick dry. We aren’t Italian or French.  We expect you to remain faithful to your wife/husband.  It’s not just because your infidelity speaks to us of a greater rot in your soul – (though it does) – it’s because you are now available for blackmail and because you lie to us and your spouse in the process.  That means you are no longer trustworthy.
  6. Keep secret things secret. If you go to a classified meeting then don’t go leaking what you heard to some bonehead reporter for political gain.  You risk the lives of our intelligence agents, our allies, our sources and our Military men and women…for votes.  That is a revolting and disgusting display of your very unworthyness of bearing the title Congressman or Senator.  If you discover something wrong, then move through the channels set up for that.  Otherwise you are just a douchebag with a big flappy mouth.
  7. Don’t blame some corporation for a problem YOU created.  *coughBarneyFrankcough*.  If your legislation was the cause for the problem then fess up.  The current crisis with the housing industry is directly attributable to the actions of a few congressmen and women.  THEY did this to us, companies only walked through doors those jackasses opened.
  8. If an issue is science related don’t get religious about it.  The AGW religionists allow for no disputation of their flimsy non-scientific conclusions.  The environment and the climate are distinctly sciencey subjects and therefore MUST be open to dissent, enquiry and study.  Also, refrain from thinking you can possibly understand something as complex and huge as the climate of this entire world from a movie some former politician made.
  9. Don’t think you know how to live my life better than I do. You don’t.  Get out of our lives and quit trying to manage every little aspect of our living, loving, eating and breathing.
  10. Read, know, understand and LOVE the Constitution. If you don’t, then really don’t bother getting elected.  Communists, Marxists and socialists need not apply.  You want a communist nation go to Cuba, Vietnam, China or Venezuela.  Enjoy the “freedoms” of Marx.  Leave us to our unfair, unregulated, ungovernment controlled, capitalist Republic.
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6 Responses to 10 Simple Rules for Politicians

  1. Phelps says:

    Point of order: I think the Bank of Congress proved that they can’t stop spending their own money when they run out. Remember, they shut it down for insolvency, and the only clients it had was Congressmen.

  2. vivianlouise says:

    True that, Phelps.

  3. Linds says:

    I really like that- well stated and what we SHOULD expect of our politicians. I think they forget these things or think because of their position they are above us. Which is baloney. In the military, one of the points they teach their service members is that civilians out rank you (and they outrank everyone), and that is because the military is to SERVE our country and our country-men.

  4. poohzcrew says:


    Partly because you’ve just encapsulated all the things that have been pissing me off every freaking time my husband turns on the news lately. (Because I just can’t bring myself to turn it on. It pisses me off that badly. IMHO, television is for mindlessness and HGTV.) And partly because you correctly and eloquently used the words ‘poseur’ and ‘enquiry.’ With proper grammar and punctuation, too! Squee! With that you have just gained yourself a loyal reader. I don’t mind net speak when it’s used (by people who know better) to fun effect, but I *heart* bloggers who actually know how to properly use the English language. Thank you for being a bright beacon of hope!

  5. vivianlouise says:

    Whew, Poohzcrew – thank you for the compliment! Also, I’m laughing because I’d forgotten to pluralize the title and came to correct it before I read your comment. Now the title is correct.

    I *heart* vocabulary!

    Thank you also, Linds and Tami, for the drive through.

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