Belly Button Fluff – A Study

Some Austrian scientist discovered why your belly button collects lint, dirt and fluff. Awesome!  Tummy hair has barbs on it that push yuck towards the built in belly trash can.  Super! He even asked people for their belly button gunk to study.  *gags*  Sweet!

His suggested solutions to the buildup of belly trash is to:
A. Shave your belly
B.  Add a belly button ring
C. Wear old clothing.

Or, you could just WASH regularly.  Seriously, hygiene is not mentioned once.  Shaving, piercing and hoboism are the only options presented.

Also, I just discovered the man I will never marry.  Why?  Read this:

Mr Barker has been collecting his own navel fluff in jars every day since 1984. The achievement has won him a place in the Guinness Book of Records for the world’s largest collection of navel lint.

Just turn off the lights and let your self out.  I’ll be in the bathroom, vomiting.

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3 Responses to Belly Button Fluff – A Study

  1. Phelps says:

    I feel like I’ve been robbed, because all I collect is lint, and only if I am wearing something linty.

    And yes, I empty it every day, whether it needs it or not. (Plus, rooting around in your belly button feels good.)

  2. Dana says:

    I just want to know how much taxpayer money the government funded him to do this absolutely absurd study?

  3. vivianlouise says:

    Happiness is a clean & empty belly button!

    As he is Austrian I can only hope no US research dollars went to him, it’s better spent on useful things like groundhog flatulence or why that guy from India grew such long ear hair. Or maybe what mental illness would drive a man to collect belly button lint for 24 years.

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