Saturday Insane Updates

I work at a University, so I’m sure no one doubts the craziness up in there.  Sometimes just sheer lunacy.  The university’s list-serve for announcements held one on Friday that just makes me crazy.

Date: Fri, 7 Nov 2008 00:01:07 -0500

From: fyi-poster@xxx.edu

Subject: Female Orgasm

Subject : Female Orgasm

When : Monday, November 24, 2008 7:00 PM – 8:00 PM

Where : Student Union : *doors are at 6:30 p.m.* :

Event Type(s) : Special Event

Join us to laugh and learn about the “big O,” the most popular topic sex educators Marshall Miller and Dorian Solot teach about! Orgasm aficionados and beginners of all genders are welcome to come learn about everything from multiple orgasms to that mysterious G-spot. Whether you want to learn how to have your first orgasm, how to have better ones, or how to help your girlfriend, Dorian and Marshall cover it all with lots of humor, plenty of honesty, and an underlying message of sexual health and women’s empowerment. People of all genders are welcome! Co-sponsored by Student Entertainment Events and XXXXXX for Choice.

For more information, contact:

Jane Doe

Student Entertainment Events

Of all the bloody stupid things, when there are real and actual dangers and concerns looming in our world, must we really spend time teaching young women and men how to better reach orgasm?  Does the Constitution of the State of Maryland contain a clause on the proper and necessary orgasmic education of youth?  There is absolutely nothing in here about relational health, about trust between a man and woman, about fidelity and a commitment to it that includes assisting your spouse to greater sexual satisfaction as a means of fulfilling your vow to stay true for the better.  The better being amazing, deeply satisfying sex within the embrace of a covenant relationship, and that is the real lesson these children need to learn about female orgasm.  Instead they will learn porn star techniques to poison their bodies and minds with filth from the abyss.  To be blunt, they will learn to fuck, nothing more and significantly less than what God intended when he gifted humanity with the ability to orgasm in the first place.  Animals mate with no thought to relationship or true health, they respond to their bodies and natural imperatives this way because they are without the ability to reason, and it is with the same animalistic stupidity that these people teach these youth to exchange the Glory of God for a trifle.  Their inheritance could be a kingdom, an eternal kingdom filled with infinite, eternal and inexpressible pleasures and it is exchanged for the whoredom of a bowl of pottaged orgasms and an eternal inheritance of hell.  Further, this is all somehow wrapped up in keeping abortion legal.

Originally I thought that this was funded by the State, it wasn’t.  It was funded by the student fees each student pays in order to take classes at the University.  Still, it remains sheer lunacy.  Just looney.

Then I read something so monumentally stupid that I gagged.  I honestly gagged.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/us_elections/article5086230.ece

#1.  Yes, children, according to the Times Online we have achieved that most coveted of feats, we have beaten the French in style.  Simply by electing Obama and thereby bringing Michelle Obama into the lists of First Ladies, we have overthrown centuries of French dominance!  Carla Bruni is now crying her eyes out.

My response: Who frickin cares.  If having a hot wife is on the job description for POTUS I missed it in my studies.  Certainly we will have to go back and re-write history to downgrade FDR because of Eleanor, she was no looker afterall.  Is this really newsworthy?  Seriously?

#2.  Apparently, we voted for Obama because Michelle loves him despite his “sticky-out” ears, and well, if she loves him, he MUST be okay for the rest of us.

My response: Oh. My. Dear. Lord.  Are you kidding me?  How bloody stupid and shallow are these idiots who write crap like this and how pitifully retarded are those idiots who believe it.  They would be better served by watching South Park for political commentary than reading this crap.  Please don’t tell me anyone voted for Obama because his wife chose to ignore his chicken legs and sticky-out ears, had mercy on him, married him and thus he is ready to have the nuclear football codes.

Just tell me this paper is the British equivalent of the Onion.  Please? Because the tone of that article was this: Because Michelle loves Barack and they were elected (ack!  they??? NOOOO! Just him) soon unicorns and leprechauns would be frolicking from sea to shining sea farting rainbows and crapping gold.
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I think I vomited a little.

 

 

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