In Honor of Earth Day!

If you’ve spent any time reading this blog you will have discovered that:

  • I think Global Warming (as stated by Algore, many Newspapers, and many others) is a crock, an attempt at a new religion that requires throwing virgins into volcanos (metaphorically, it’s the economy of every first and second world country that gets thrown in, not to mention the effect on all third world countries when everyone else is in the crapper).
  • I believe that the earth is a planet, not my mother.
  • I do not think that climate/weather/shifting patterns of weather are controlled because I use one or two squares of toilet paper. (Thank you, Sheryl Crow, for that most cringe inducing suggestion. I just vomited a little.)

This is how I will celebrate Earth Day:

  • Lobbying for more drilling in the US of A, please pretty please can we just drill in ANWAR already?
  • Nagging my congress persons for more local nuclear power plants. (For crying out loud, if the French can manage to build safe ones, and since no one was actually hurt at 3-Mile, can we just get on with building safe, productive, CLEAN, nuclear power plants?)
  • Lobbying for more coal burning. (Why? Because the less oil we burn for electricity the less we import, the less we import, the….well, you figure it out.)
  • Driving, alone, in my own personal vehicle to work. Both ways. AC on, windows down.
  • Mocking all the hilarious hippie types who dance barefoot worship a large, molten cored, spherical spinny thing. (That would be the earth.)

More importantly, I’ll be celebrating the lovely Charlotte’s Birthday. Since Charlotte lives in South Africa and I can’t drive to her home, both ways, alone, in my car with the AC on and the windows down, I’ll be doing something much more funner. Toasting to her health! YAY for Charlotte! YAY for her Birthday!!

My Top Ten Reasons Why I Can’t Stand the Sanctimony of “Earth Day” or Global Warming Orthodoxy

  • Years ago I went to Grateful Earth Day celebrations down on the Mall in DC. I say “Grateful” since it was really nothing more than a Dead concert. Lots of potheaded wannabe’s running around, high, pretending to care about the earth. All I saw was litter, lots of litter, and carelessness. I haven’t seen much change since then.
  • Greenwashing. I. Hate. Awareness. Raising. Stupidity. Please spare me with the “I’m trying to raise awareness..” crap. Yes, crap. All manner of sins are committed in the quest to raise awareness. All manner of ridiculousness is passed off as “joining in the fight against global warming”. Look, it’s a really large, really old planet, with a really complex weather system. I mean really complex. As in “too much for us to ever understand” complex. As in “beyond our ability to comprehend how frickin’ complex”. I’ve heard about global warming as nauseum. I don’t need my awareness raised as much as I need to have actual information, backed up with scientifically processed data that isn’t interpreted through a guy that studied law.
  • Climate Change is here to stay. During human history, the written bit that encompasses the last 5000 years, the climate has changed all by it self a number of times. With out our help. There was a Roman warming period, a Medieval warming period, a Little Ice Age and more. There are climate shifts. That is the normal state of the earth, change. It’s like, changey, ya know?
  • Carbon Credits. Of all the greedy things to do, and most ridiculous, selling carbon credits to the masses is the most egregious thing the global warming believers do. It. Doesn’t. Help. It. Makes. No. Difference. Wanna lessen your ‘carbon footprint’? Then lobby for nuclear energy. How about buying local produce? How about growing your own dang garden? That’s actually doing something that means something that accomplishes something. And, furthermore, it’s actually accomplishing something other than stopping something you can’t stop anyway. But I’ll save this rant for another day. Maybe a day filled with homegrown tomatoes, picked while still warm from the afternoon sun, drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with sea salt….
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6 Responses to In Honor of Earth Day!

  1. Nancy says:

    Driving, alone, in my own personal vehicle to work. Both ways. AC on, windows down.

    Heh. Well, you know, it’s good to hasten the loss of oil, so we can get on to the next earth-friendlier fuel. (And I write this mildly buzzed by the way, but still.) Greenies should be celebrating high gas prices b/c that will lead to eco-friendlier fuels, right?

    I go sleep now.

  2. Dana says:

    Ah, Nancy, a wellspring of wisdom! Chardonnay???

    Google green and trees is annoying me to no end.

  3. I never got the hatred of nuclear power plants thing, personally. Beats the heck out of coal or oil, I’d think.

  4. vivianlouise says:

    Chardonnay speaks!

    For crying out loud, if even the French can manage to maintain safe nuclear power plants, surely we can. That whole 3-Mile Island thing was totally blown out of proportion.

    I’d meant to add that I would be personally investing time and money into getting DDT back on the market. Millions have died because of Malaria, the frickin’ nets don’t do as much as a light dosing of DDT. I do hope that Rachel Carson is haunted by the faces of the people her silly book condemned to death.

  5. Yertle says:

    You sure know how to push my buttons.

    I can’t believe that Americans can be made to believe that they need to purchase so many shares of “Algore green” depending on how flatulent their grandmother or cat is. Ridiculous, I say. Chiding America whilst he pays an electric bill over $1,000 each month. Again, ridiculous.

  6. …and Chernobyl showed that you practically have to try to cause a meltdown.

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