About

*You can find my cooking blog at The Kitchens of Glome.

Because “About” pages are everywhere, I thought I should have one.  I’ll keep updating this with facts about me.  I should warn you that I regard the definition of fact rather more loosely on this page of my blog than I do anywhere else.  I will leave it to you to figure out the truth from the fiction.

1. I weigh enough to use gravity to my advantage in the war between the void of space and the earth.
2. I’m tall enough that my feet always touch the ground when I stand.
3. I’m not translucent. Today.
4. Before, when I was young, I hadn’t aged as much as I have now.
5. My tattoo is a drawing of a gift my mother gave me.
6. I sometimes miss my faux-hawk
7. On my 11th birthday I won a blue ribbon in 25 meter freestyle.
8. Butterfly is the most beautiful swimming stroke.
9. I like iced tea.
10. I can crack all of my toes, even the little ones.
11. Once and only once, I did a handstand on a sk8board down hill.
12. I’ve killed flies with my awesome Mulan/Mr. Miyagi skillz.
13. I can quote extensive passages of that classic “The Princess Bride”.
14. I can also quote vast bits of that other classic “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”.
15. I know most of the words to “Every Sperm is Sacred”.
16. Also, I’ve got nearly all of “The Lion in Winter” down pat.
17. When watching a Kurt Russell/Kevin Costner movie I’m torn between watching more and kicking the TV.
18. I’m in deep love with storms.  Deep.  Love.
19. Oceans make me happier than mountains.
20. Lakes are better than no water at all
21. Swimming in a huge spring fed lake at 7:00 AM in Maine while the water steams is the best place to swim in the entire world.  Getting far enough from shore that I can barely see it and then swimming and swimming and swimming in total silence is pretty much heaven.
22. Flipping over and floating until the steam burns off and day arrives in that lake in Maine is worship of God Almighty.
23. I like mandolines.
24. Five Guys fries rock.
25. However, Five Guys fries only rock for the first few, but they give you too many so unless you get a small fries order for 6 people they get cold and you throw away 3/4th of the fries.
26. I only like fries REALLY hot.
27. Cold fries are teh suck.
28. Cool, tepid and warm fries are all along teh suck continuum.
29. Three day weekends are NOT teh suck.
30. I enjoy gaitling guns.
31. Not with my fries.